StingRay
08-18-2004, 06:09 AM
So I'm perusing the paper this morning and here's this new cereal-Optimum Zen. Yes, you read that right. So now I get to achieve a zen state from cereal. Sure, yeah, right....Don't think they're targeting the kids with this one folks. That got me to thinking. Do people actually BUY this stuff? Am I the only one who doesn't live life as the "body conscious" people do?
Breakfast-well if I really want breakfast it sure isn't when I get up in the morning. Nothing beats a good bowl of Sugar Frosted Flakes as a midnight snack. Preferably eaten in bed with your snoring spouse (there ARE ways to retaliate). I rarely get the required number of fruits and vegetables that the government agencies tell me to. Don't get me wrong, I like fruits-especially in pies layered with Cool Whip. And veggies are great as long as you give me a bottle of ranch dressing, or they're deep fried or smothered in butter or cheese. Salads are fine, heavy on the croutons please. And could I EVER give up steak? I think not, but heaven forbid I have it too often, I can feel my arteries clogging up as we speak. I have no idea how my grandfather lived well into his 80's eating 1/2 lb. of bacon and four fried eggs every morning.
Does everyone use all the new personal grooming products out now? Do you know of any man that uses a toner, exfoliater, moisturizer, sunblock, eye cream, etc., etc., etc.? I'm lucky if my husband even LOOKS in the mirror in the morning before he leaves. His routine is down pat and NONE of it includes anything about moisturizer. He tried that skin care stuff once.....gave him acne. Yes, I know I should moisturize and all that other mess but do we really have time? "Hey honey, set the alarm for 3:00AM so I can exfoliate".
I try to exercise. Hell, I mow the lawn, doesn't that count? From what you see on tv and read everywhere, we're all doing our 30 minutes of cardio a day. I do cardio all right, one of my cats routinely escapes my sight and I spend 30 minutes frantically searching for it, my pulse hitting about 200. There's your cardio for you.
"Family Time". I love that phrase. Let's spend some "Family Time" together. In my house family time means going over the bills, wrestling for the remote control, having someone tell me what their schedule is for what day so I can magically remember NOT to plan family time for that day. Don't get me wrong, I spend time with my family. I'm on the phone with my daughter so much, she decided to move back home (that one backfired!). I've spent so much time with my husband that I think he now considers me his personal advisor, and unable to complete any task by himself (another backfire). I talk to my mom at least once a week, usually to listen about how her husband WON'T give her any NON-FAMILY time. I think I can relate.
Bottom line, I guess I'm just abnormal. I don't view all this NEW thinking as necessarily the ONLY way to live my life. And I sure ain't no Oprah or Martha. But I'm still here, and for the most part happy. Even without my Optimum Zen....now if you'll excuse me I have to go fry some eggs.
Breakfast-well if I really want breakfast it sure isn't when I get up in the morning. Nothing beats a good bowl of Sugar Frosted Flakes as a midnight snack. Preferably eaten in bed with your snoring spouse (there ARE ways to retaliate). I rarely get the required number of fruits and vegetables that the government agencies tell me to. Don't get me wrong, I like fruits-especially in pies layered with Cool Whip. And veggies are great as long as you give me a bottle of ranch dressing, or they're deep fried or smothered in butter or cheese. Salads are fine, heavy on the croutons please. And could I EVER give up steak? I think not, but heaven forbid I have it too often, I can feel my arteries clogging up as we speak. I have no idea how my grandfather lived well into his 80's eating 1/2 lb. of bacon and four fried eggs every morning.
Does everyone use all the new personal grooming products out now? Do you know of any man that uses a toner, exfoliater, moisturizer, sunblock, eye cream, etc., etc., etc.? I'm lucky if my husband even LOOKS in the mirror in the morning before he leaves. His routine is down pat and NONE of it includes anything about moisturizer. He tried that skin care stuff once.....gave him acne. Yes, I know I should moisturize and all that other mess but do we really have time? "Hey honey, set the alarm for 3:00AM so I can exfoliate".
I try to exercise. Hell, I mow the lawn, doesn't that count? From what you see on tv and read everywhere, we're all doing our 30 minutes of cardio a day. I do cardio all right, one of my cats routinely escapes my sight and I spend 30 minutes frantically searching for it, my pulse hitting about 200. There's your cardio for you.
"Family Time". I love that phrase. Let's spend some "Family Time" together. In my house family time means going over the bills, wrestling for the remote control, having someone tell me what their schedule is for what day so I can magically remember NOT to plan family time for that day. Don't get me wrong, I spend time with my family. I'm on the phone with my daughter so much, she decided to move back home (that one backfired!). I've spent so much time with my husband that I think he now considers me his personal advisor, and unable to complete any task by himself (another backfire). I talk to my mom at least once a week, usually to listen about how her husband WON'T give her any NON-FAMILY time. I think I can relate.
Bottom line, I guess I'm just abnormal. I don't view all this NEW thinking as necessarily the ONLY way to live my life. And I sure ain't no Oprah or Martha. But I'm still here, and for the most part happy. Even without my Optimum Zen....now if you'll excuse me I have to go fry some eggs.